HOPELESS: Letter to Apple Computers

Odds of Steve Jobs responding? Bets anyone?
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To: sjobs@mac.com
From: justinduvall@gmail.com
Date: Tue, May 12, 2009 at 2:38 PM
Subject: Sour Apples.

Hello Mr. Jobs.

I am a long-time consumer of Apple products. Many years ago I purchased an iPod. It broke. I bought another iPod. It broke. About a year ago, I decided to give the new iPod touch a shot. Today, my music was wiped clean from it for some reason, and now it's frozen up. Busted. Again.

Now, I could do what I normally do when this happens and do the online-support dance and run around in circles accomplishing nothing until I get so frustrated that I curse that cleanly bitten fruit logo that I have grown to love, and sadly hate in moments like this, and then give up and buy yet another iPod. Now, I COULD do that... but I've been there before, and this time I cannot afford a new iPod. I am also frustrated with the Apple "doctors" at the Mac store. Your choice of PhD minions surprises me, actually. They seem to be of no more use to me than the online tutorials... which I would swear is what they use as their textbook when they encounter problem for which they have no remedial knowledge. My previous iPods were twice left diseased, with the doc shrugging his shoulders. This led me to wonder, what good is the middle-man?

And so here I am, Mr. Steve Jobs, writing to you. Mr. Apple. Mr. Black Shirt and Jeans. The father of the forbidden fruit. The Preston Tucker of the computer/phone/music industry (I mean that in the technologically-innovative way. Clearly you are more successful than Preston Tucker.) Where was I?

Ah, yes. I am emailing you directly because I wanted to contact the source. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Now, I suppose we could get technical and talk about curvatures in time and space and how there really are no straight lines... but for the sake of my analogy, let us just agree that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
Point A is where I stand, without iPod. Point B is where I want to be, with iPod. You are the straight line Steve.

Or maybe I am point A and you are point B, and this email is the straight line. I guess that analogy works better... but it doesn't result in me getting an iPod, so let's stick with the first one.

At anyrate, please help a consumer out. Just this once. Eternal gratitude shall be your reward.

Thank you for your time.

Justin Duvall
iPodless But Hopeful.
justinduvall@gmail.com